i write when i'm sad

this song on repeat. my dress of the day before on the carpet. my eyes red from hopelessness. my fingernails uneven. my hair undone and falling out. my wrinkled nightgown. my damaged skin and bruised bones. my dreamcatchers defect. my polaroids fading. my unmade bed. the unfinished books on my nightstand. the cups of coffee … Continue reading i write when i'm sad

melancholia.

it both chokes me and frees me, haunts me and inspires me, breaks me and heals me, leaves a bittersweet aftertaste in the corners of my mouth. the night holds my heart in the way you used to hold this damaged organ. i remember how you held my hand, unwillingly to let go, while strolling … Continue reading melancholia.

light.

now i know. i needed this loneliness, i needed this pain and all the heartbreaks. i was meant to suffer in the dark, all by myself, isolated and detached. the anxiety, the panic, the depression, the sadness, the emptiness was all needed for me to grow. it forced me to fight, to find the light, … Continue reading light.

still you.

isn’t it pathetic how i still dream about you every now and then? picture your face and implant it in my brain. isn’t it sad how i still, until this very day, keep replaying moments, how i’m recollecting memories, which only make me cry? isn’t it ridiculous how my eyes still light up when i … Continue reading still you.