Friday, Cryday

Everything in my life feels wrong lately. Right now I’m sitting in a cafe, on my own. I just had a meal and some coffee. Sitting here thinking, watching the world outside the window functioning in a normal way, while at the same time I am falling apart, again. Nothing is the same, everything is … Continue reading Friday, Cryday

Mental Update

I took my pills, somewhat earlier this evening than I was meant to. I don’t want you to see me like this. I want you to keep that image of me, you had before you started to know me too well. It scares you away, I know. It scares me away too. People talk to … Continue reading Mental Update

Remembering Memories

Yesterday I couldn’t sleep. I laid in bed with my eyes closed and my body covered with blankets. I wasn’t really tired, but I wasn’t wide awake either. I was restless instead. Tossing and turning, praying for sleep to come and get me. But he didn’t. Instead he let me drown, into a dark, deep … Continue reading Remembering Memories

Light and Dark

I feel like I’m more than one person, but not in a schizophrenic kind of way. I am just constantly switching between two versions of myself. One version of me is light. She loves life, she’s spontaneous and assertive, open-minded and hopeful. She believes in herself, recognizes her talents and loves the people that are a … Continue reading Light and Dark

April 30th ‘18

It feels odd, being back home again. The contrast between London and the place I grew up in is huge. Life is so safe here, so simple, so quiet. It might sound strange, but I miss the busy streets, the strangers, the feeling of being anonymous. I’m not saying that I like to feel lonely, … Continue reading April 30th ‘18