Believe

You know what saddens me the most? People who don’t believe. By this I don’t refer to having a religion as Christianity or Islam, or any other beliefs. By believing I refer to having faith and believing in fate. Trusting your own intuition and trusting the universe. Knowing that in the end, everything happened for … Continue reading Believe

Losing Time

Perhaps the reason I am mentally and physically exhausted is because I’m afraid of wasting and losing time. There are so so so many things I want to do, too many ideas in my mind I want to work on, a lot of emotions I want to express and so many different goals I want … Continue reading Losing Time

I’m Going Insane

I feel like I’m dying, although I know I’m alive. I hear voices in my head, whispering, creeping in, getting louder and louder until I can’t hear anymore. My vision gets blurry, now everything feels like a dream. Is this still reality? I look at my hands and I don’t recognise them as being mine. … Continue reading I’m Going Insane

Why I Write

People ask me a lot about the reasons why I write. For me writing is a kind of detoxification. Puryfying my soul from toxic thoughts, haunting memories and a lingering stream of conscious and unconscious ideas, concepts or fantasies. I write to clear my mind, to find a safe harbour in a dazzling thunderstorm while … Continue reading Why I Write

Friday, Cryday

Everything in my life feels wrong lately. Right now I’m sitting in a cafe, on my own. I just had a meal and some coffee. Sitting here thinking, watching the world outside the window functioning in a normal way, while at the same time I am falling apart, again. Nothing is the same, everything is … Continue reading Friday, Cryday

Mental Update

I took my pills, somewhat earlier this evening than I was meant to. I don’t want you to see me like this. I want you to keep that image of me, you had before you started to know me too well. It scares you away, I know. It scares me away too. People talk to … Continue reading Mental Update

Remembering Memories

Yesterday I couldn’t sleep. I laid in bed with my eyes closed and my body covered with blankets. I wasn’t really tired, but I wasn’t wide awake either. I was restless instead. Tossing and turning, praying for sleep to come and get me. But he didn’t. Instead he let me drown, into a dark, deep … Continue reading Remembering Memories