I woke up in October, with September still lingering on my skin. I couldn’t remember the last time the sky was so quiet and the air was so dark. But the silence was comforting; covering me and sheltering me like a lighthouse.
My dreams were so vivid. It was like they held more truth than my own reality. I was haunted by my subconscious, that was telling me to run. But running away was something I did before and I guess I needed to learn the hard way.
I saw flashes of him against my eyelids, which stimulated the watering of my eyes. So long gone, but the ache still so present. I wondered if the wondering why would ever leave my mind. But beautiful moments are hard to leave behind, once they have shaped you and settled in your heart.
I woke up in October and I let him go.
A bit later than I planned, but sooner than I ever could. Although I know a forever would not be long enough to forget about him. So in this case, time won’t heal.
He erased me out of his life, without a goodbye. A silent withdrawal that sounded like an ear-deafening invasion. Maybe he thought I wouldn’t notice, but that’s an ignorant thought to think.
I guess for him I was just a little section on his timeline, just one more fragile body that kept him warm during the urban nighttime. Perhaps the poetry that was flowing out of his mouth, was just fiction. Maybe the bittersweet kisses were just a sign of his hunger for sentimental company.
Answers will stay unknown and unkind. Of that I’m sure. Now a lifetime of wondering why is waiting for me.
I woke up in October and I let him go. But forgetting him remains impossible.